a little story: "and then there was one"

First, there were many, and we were all on the kibbutz together and had a lovely old time playing in the sun and "learning Hebrew" and folding laundry.

And then many months passed and everyone moved away from the kibbutz, many returning home to their respective countries. There were just a few of us left in Israel, traveling and starting our lives. Those few were of course still talking, still hanging out the kibbutz, only very slowly realizing that it was all ending...

And then this weekend, there were three. We ate with my family, bummed around Tel Aviv, and even had one last hurrah with a bunch of our Mexican buddies from the kibbutz who are now working in the city. But at the end of the weekend, it was time for one more to embrace in goodbye hugs. Tears were shed (too many too count) and hands waved heartfelt goodbyes.

And then there were two. They walked outside, did their best to dry their tears and then let walking around the city do it's magic. After a couple days of sharing memories, creating new ones, and appreciating the present tense, they too said "l'hitraot" and went their separate ways.

And then there was one.
*************************
only now does it really feel like this 6 month kibbutz experience is really over. and what can I say... just like i learned from YPI when I was 13...

Don't cry because it's over...smile because it happened.

Brokeback Mountain

Last night I went to see Brokeback Mountain with Leora and some of her buddies... I have a hard time calling the experience "fun" because the movie is just really "wow" in a sad way that silently knocks the wind out of you. I'm not sure if it was my mood going into the movie or what, but since we walked out of there, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. Something about certain expressions on their faces keeps reappearing in my mind. I usually remember the way people smile and laugh and show love, and here the emotions i remember most from the movie are so many things at once that it's hard to articulate.

anyway...i don't know where i'm going with this. but perhaps you'll see the movie and have your own opinions to share with me.

i'm not in the mood to do very much today. i'm going to visit my grandmother and my aunt later today in Tel Aviv, but i feel like just lying in bed and reading, really. just one of those kind of moods i guess...

the choices we make

this morning i woke up and went about my morning routine (not that i really have one but whatever). and last night before Eyal left to go out and then sleep at Gali's, I told him i would catch a ride to tel aviv with him if that's cool, whenever he left to go to the university.

the following things all had to happen a certain way for the last to happen:
1) Eyal was running late and we only left Petach Tikva around 11

2) he said he would drop me off at the University train station, which is fine because i can get pretty much southbound train to Tel Aviv Hashalom - Azrieli

3) when I got there i debated taking a bus instead, but decided on the train since it would be faster i thought

4) I missed a southbound train that left by like two minutes and had to sit and wait for about twenty more minutes for the next one -- not that many trains run in the middle of the day as it turns out :-P

5) I was sitting on the bench and when the train arrived i was kind of close to one door and a little further from one -- but the further one was more in the direction i would need getting off, so i walked down and got on there.

6) I look to my right and almost walk down the stairs to sit on the lower level but decided, no, i'll go to my left and sit in the little area near the door since i am going to get off in like 4 minutes.

7) I look to my left and who is sitting there with her three bags: IRIS!

I was like...HI!!!!! we both were soo surprised and so happy to see each other that we just started hugging and crying like crazy women. yes, we had just seen each other yesterday and we will see each other again on Friday. But there was something about the randomness and loveliness of that moment that we knew would would just never happen again.

she had had a less than wonderful morning and it was one of the first good things that happened to her that day.

this is just one more thing that proves to me that the world/energy works in mysterious but somehow necessary ways. things alwasy just seem to happen the way you need them to but could never plan out.

ok. that's my random comment.

zeh lo oto davar (it's not the same thing)

i am not sure i quite realized it at the time...or maybe i did and just didn't let it sink in, but when i left the kibbutz yesterday it was really the last time that it would be at all like it was. this past month when i've visited it's been sort of like it, i didn't have my own room, but at the same time, i was in a similar room (liz's) and most importantly, the main people that i associated with my life there were also present.

i'm sure it'll still be fun and nice to be back and visit Tzofit and Roie, and my old boss at work... but without Iris and Liz and Noa it's going to feel really odd i'm sure. and to not stay in one of the Ulpan rooms...and to see random people walking out of the rooms we used to live in... it'll just take some getting used to i think.

Friday night should be fun -- Iris and Liz and maybe Aviva are going to come into the city for Iris and Aviva's last hurrah in Israel. We'll maybe even meet up with the Mexicans from the Ulpan who will all be partying in the city as well. Basically we're just moving the Ma'agan Michael pub to a random bar/club in Tel Aviv...

work is going well still, i am starting to feel like i know what i'm doing and even though i have my moments of...ummm...shit? is this right? for the most part, i got it all under control. and even more than that, i feel like they trust me and give me free reign over the things i have to do, which feels really nice.

ok...more rambling some other time. ciao.

people don't walk enough

in the last month or so i've done a lot more walking (around tel aviv mostly) and it's become quite apparent that a) people don't walk without a particular destination enough and b) it's a really great way to people watch and get a sense of a city in a short period of time.

maybe once i start working full time (insert hope and positive thoughts here so that this actually happens) i'll probably have less time to just enjoy wandering around the city, but it's been really awesome to just walk without a purpose and realize that i sort of know how to get places. plus it's been helping me connect various places that i was already familiar with but only a separate entities. i'm not yet at the point of being able to give directions everywhere, but i think that should i manage to keep "walking around the city" a part of my daily life, it's only a matter of time :-) being able to give directions is always the key to feeling like you actually live somewhere. i remember that being true both in boston as well as in Madrid.

anyway...that's my random comment of the day.

time to go shower and get a move on...

after a week's worth of work

an update in a second, first pictures from last weekend's hike...

sunset view from Sde Boker (where Ben Gurion and his wife are buried) -- our hike (Amitai, Danny and I) ended here but i always forget to upload pictures in the opposite order...
a "bamba break" before starting to make our way back --- bamba, making us stronger since 1964 :-P

arm-held-out-with-camera self-portrait --- yay for desert hikes...


mmmmmmmmm....weekend.

well, i've officially finished my first week of work (no work on Fridays, so i have a "normal" two day weekend :-P) and I have to say that I think it's going quite well so far. I can't really believe that it's working out...the skeptic in me taking over, that is, but it really is a nice office with smart and interesting people (and small, so not that many of them). So far the job is quite eclectic and something tells me it will remain as such, which i like -- no monotony. My knowledge of what it means to be a venture capital fund is growing exponentially and while i was never really into economics and math related subjects, this is actually pretty cool, and i generally like the idea of helping big American companies invest in Israel -- in whatever form it is. Amitai came to visit me yesterday and I showed him the office. He also commented on the change of pressure when you ride up in the elevator...i still haven't gotten used to it and have to force myself to yawn or chew or something to pop my ears all the time. but it's kind of fun that this is an issue at all :-)

chutz mi zeh (besides that), things are pretty much standard. last night i was hanging out with Eyal and Gali and Eyal's buddies, which was fun. Groups of guys are really amusing here. It's really nice to be around, and they've been buddies since high school or before, so them making fun of each other is on a whole different level. Although from what i've observed, girls here, when they hang out with guys, aren't very vocal...it's like, the guys hang out and some girls are there accompanying their boyfriends or something, but aren't really part of the group. For me this is an odd feeling and I just jump right into the conversation if I want, they're all great and friendly and sarcastic anyway...just my style.

this shabbat should be pretty low-key. I'm going to go hang out with my grandmother later today and then tonight i'll be hopefully meeting up with Amitai for a last hurrah of sorts. boooo, people need to not leave. it's not ok with me. i will just have to start looking forward to my next visit from a person i miss in America... my MOM!!! there's no ticket yet, but the general plan is March?? we shall see. It'll be fun if she comes and can stay with me at my new apt in Tel Aviv --- uhh, no, i don't have an apt or know of an apt or anything like that...i'm just saying it so that it comes true --- it's worked so far with the job thing :-) tomorrow i might end up hanging out with my cousin Shaked who i actually haven't even seen yet...so that'll be fun. perhaps I'll get to meet the famous Maya who he's been dating literally since the last week i was here in Israel -- two and a half years ago.

anyway. enough rambling for now. if you read you should comment. it makes me happy. which makes me write more. which makes you have something to procrastinate with. it's an amazing cycle...keep it flowing.

working girl

Chanukkah with the Neiger Family

hanging out with Adi and Shir

yo yo,

life as a working girl is going well thus far. i'm enjoying being in the everything is new kind of environment and the people are great so i can't complain (yet :-P). it feels very stable and comforting walking into an office where i am expected and where i have my own place to sit and work and help with whatever. it's really nice. the view from the 35th floor is also much appreciated :-) yay tel aviv.

i am continuing to adjust to life outside of the kibbutz, although i was there on Sunday night visiting which was great. it was so nice to be with my chicas and just enjoy the comfort of a place i'm used to...even if i don't live there anymore. perhaps i'll go again this coming Sunday since I don't work on Mondays right now and it would be a good opportunity to hang out there before Noa and Liz scurry off to other locations.

Amitai is leaving on Sunday early morning....baaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh. Iris is leaving a week after...baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. i know they are both returning to places they need to be for very valid reasons, but still. it sucks. i want them here damnit. in some ways it's even harder than the people that i'm used to missing, if that makes any sense. i've found a way to handle not being in the same place as my family, and as sucky as it is, it's not unfamiliar. Iris on the other hand has just been here with me all along and not talking to her all the time is just a foreign concept i'll have to get used to. ok, not going to think about that.

enzywayz...time to go shower and get this day started for real.

ciaooooooo.

i be EMPLOYED!

automatic timers are lovely
Dad's visit to the kibbutz

mmmmhhhmmmm...that's right. last night i got offered a job at one of the places i interviewed a couple times and thought could be really great. so YAY!

it's a venture capital company that works with American and European companies to invest in Israeli startup (communications) companies. They want an office manager type that will be able to both do basic administrative tasks as well as help them with their more challenging projects --- use my "Native English Speaker" capabilities, if you will :-P so yeah, it's a really small company (6 or 7 full time people) which seems awesome and just a really good place for me to learn. My thoughts are, if you're going to be in the corporate world, you might as well sit on the 35th floor of Azrieli (a very tall building in Tel Aviv with an amazing view and a crazy big mall below it) and work in a company where 'everybody knows your name' kind of place.

Anzywayz...i called and left a message for Adi, the woman I spoke with during my first interview who seemed great, and told her that i would like to start -- (we didn't talk about this last night on the phone) and if that means Sunday, then great, but let me know. So who knows, i might be on my way to work first thing Sunday morning :-) (the US Monday morning idea for those who are confused at the moment).

i have to say, i am still quite skeptical and i'm thinking...nahhhhhhhhhhhhh, it can't work out this well this quickly?? can it?? but yeah, i'm trying to be optimistic and saying, yes, yes it can Lerone, and beyond that, it DID. but keep your good energy vibes flowing people, i'll need it regardless :-)

que mas...yeah, that is the only new i have, but it's big news so it deserves it's own post. but i've included some more pictures from random things in case this post is not exciting enough for you readers...

hiking fun, job search not fun

Went hiking last Shabbat with Amitai and his buddy (now my buddy too!) Danny. Got some lovely shots to share with you :-)

amazing, eh?

don't let the sun go down on me....
yay! i'm finally getting a "taste" of what Amitai did every weekend during his year in Be'er Sheva
i'm not the only one that has to fix my pony tail ;-)
the view out there is surreal, in such a good way. breathtaking, really. i have a bunch more, let me know if you want me to pass them along.

so, job search....bahhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

it's not surprising that it's kind of frusting, it was like this back when i was looking for a job in Boston after graduation, but i'm usually pretty optimistic around here and i know that something will come through and it will all work out like it should. :-) right???? riiiight. i've been a to a couple interviews and such and keep sending my CV out as much as i can.

not living on the kibbutz has been an interesting transition so far. i like seeing my family a lot, but i have to say that i do miss my room there and Iris and Aviva and the rest of my buddies. I'll just be sitting here doing nothing and somehow, even when we did nothing on the kibbutz, which was a lot, it felt more like something since we were doing nothing with other people. an interesting phenomenon, much like how reading your book in a place other than your house feels like you're doing something, just because of the change of scenery.

on the other hand, i've been wandering around Tel Aviv a lot, many times with Amitai walking beside me, neighborhood shopping or what have you. it reminded me how i really do love living in/near cities where you can people watch and wander without too much purpose and somehow never be too far from where you might want to go.

it's nice to have Eyal back! it feels more like Israel with him here and his friends all around, etc. It was great to see them as well. It'll be cool if the whole Eyal, Noam and I in an apt thing actually works out...we'll see. living with boys will be a fun but interesting experience should it come through. but groups of guy friends are different here...in a good way.

well, i should really keep going on this job thing but i just needed to take a break and i was seeing if anyone actually left any comments, but nope...oh well. i'm ok with talking to myself too, i do it all the time anyway :-P

hope you like the pictures!