I'd rather be bothered

Let's just start off by sweeping questions of where the hell I've been the last few months under the proverbial rug, and continuing on to the inspiration for this entry.


Preface: About a month and a half ago, I started volunteering at Tzeva (צ.ב.ע. - צעירים בונים עתיד), a non-profit organization that sponsors after school programs for youth all over Israel (mostly in low-income areas), including 7 centers just in Tel Aviv. Once a week I go to one of the centers in southern Tel Aviv for about two hours and help run the afterschool program. The program involves about an hour of tutoring/academic work followed by an hour of group activities.

So far I've really enjoyed it and it's definitely helped fill the void of wanting to feel connected to the world around me (not that easy to do sometimes from the 35th floor of a skyscraper where people talk in millions of dollars). I've met some great people along the way, and the kids - well, sometimes I think that it's them volunteering to hang out with me and not the other way around :-P

The Story: This week I was witness to a pretty disturbing event where one of the little girls who we work with was last to leave the building and was completely humiliated by the family member who was there to walk her home. He yelled at her for being the last one of the kids to leave (all the volunteers were still there, we stay after for a while to debrief) and said a few other things that I'd just rather not repeat. She became silent immediately and walked out towards the gate with her head down. Needless to say, it broke my heart.

It took all of my will power not to say something, but unfortunately it is not our place to do so. The other volunteer that was there with me communicated what happened to one of the teachers who happened to be in the building for a meeting, and I can only hope that the school system is sensitive to these kinds of situations and do their best to help. Perhaps there are bigger problems in the family, or cultural norms that I am not used to. But regardless of any of those variables, there's just no excuse for saying such terrible things.

The Subject of this Blog: As I was walking out of the building with my fellow volunteers, I was expressing how much it hurt and saddened me to hear someone yell at a child like that. One of the other volunteers essentially said to me that I shouldn't get so upset and let it bother me so much. While I can completely understand that this comment was made in an effort to comfort me, I can honestly say that I hope, for the rest of my life, I will continue to be as bothered and saddened when I am witness to such an event. Some may label this attitude naive, but my choice to be bothered is not a result of being blindfolded from the world. I am aware that this single incident is only one of millions that happen on a daily basis all around me. But should its universal and prevalent nature make it any less repulsive or disturbing?

It is my choice to let things affect me as they do. I make a terrible cynic and take no comfort in the "shit happens" mentality when it comes to these sorts of things. It's definitely not an easy route, choosing to be bothered, and I can't say that I do it with every terrible event that I hear or read about. But when you watch a sweet little girl be verbally attacked for wanting to spend a couple extra minutes in a place where she's happy, it's hard to just write that off as unfortunate and move on. Perhaps they are just words and she's dealt with worse. Perhaps she's just one of many. Perhaps I should just let it go.

But at the end of the day, I would rather be bothered.